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Title: Is Oral Sex Right or Wrong?    Author: Unknown   This Writing Is Rated G

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Question: Is Oral Sex Right or Wrong?

Editors Note:

Please remember that if you have a fever blister, do not have oral sex. There is more on this below. It has also been linked to mouth cancer in one swedish study (/writings/view/11323361175.htm).

Our policy here at MarriageRomance.com is that we allow writings to contain what most well known and accepted Christian authors on marriage sex allow. This list of authors include Tim LaHaye, Dr. Ed Wheat, Dr Clifford and Joyce Penner, Linda Dillow, Lorraine Pintus, Tommy Nelson, and others. These authors say it's ok for a husband and wife to have oral sex.

I personally feel that many marriages have been destroyed because one of the marriage partners is legalistic and thinks something is wrong, while their spouse wishes they could experience it with them.

The Bible does not condemn oral sex. In my own life, if the Bible is silent on something, next I look to the obvious reasons as to why something would be wrong or unclean.

But the real reason I feel it should be allowed in marriage is the same reason Jesus felt the Pharisees should not make up rules that destroy relationships. Jesus referred to people who make up rules that conflict with obeying one of God's laws as white washed tombstones.

Jesus pointed out to the Pharisees and explained how the rule of Corban that they had come up with was wrong. See the Jews had a rule called Corban that worked something like this. You could promise or Corban your real estate property to the church for a certain specified period of time. Then after that time you would get the property back. But during that time, you could not get the money from the property. This rule conflicted with a rule that God had given the Jews. God had told the Jews to take care of their elderly parents. So some Jews were not able to take care of their parents because their property was promised or Corbaned to the church. Jesus said this was wrong, because they should not be promising their property to the church when they needed it to take care of their parents.

So the principle we learn from Jesus is that a man-made rule is a bad rule, if it causes us to do a poor job of keeping God's law in a related area. This is the case with oral sex.

God tells us to love our spouse and respect our spouse. God's intent is that the marriage will be a happy place for the husband and wife and that they will meet each other's needs and sexual desires. Paul tells us to not withold our bodies from each other except for prayer and fasting when both the husband and wife both agree.

In a marriage where both the husband and wife think oral sex is wrong, or if they both think it is ok, there is no problem - because they both are in agreement.

The only time it becomes a problem is when the husband and wife disagree on the issue.

In many marriages one of the marriage partners has a desire to perform oral sex on the other, or has a desire to have oral sex performed on themselves by their spouse. So if one partner thinks it is sin to engage in oral sex, then they disappoint the other partner causing them to be unhappy and unsatisfied their entire marriage. This is the root of many marriage problems. This argument or problem, like a cancer, out of anger and frustration, can cause the married couples to be insensitive to each other in other areas.

The devil's strategy to destroy marriages - is to divide and conquer. First get the married couple to disagree on something, and then use that as a wedge to completely split the marriage apart.

So the marriage ends up unraveling because one partner thinks oral sex is sin, and the other partner would like to try it. I do not think God intended it to be this way.

When there is no good reason to call oral sex sin, and the Bible does not call it sin, and it is not unhealthy, and it does not cause us to sin in any way, then why ruin a marriage by calling it sin? Why disappoint your spouse who wants to try it? Why think that it is dirty, when in reality you know it is cleaner than kissing?

There is a good book that would help us all on this subject written by Tom Hovestol. The title is "Extreme Righteousness-Seeing Ourselves in the Pharisees".

As far as the health issues of oral sex, there are a few dangers. I have heard that some men get geographic toungue, a yeast infection, from oral sex. But the primary danger is transferring the HERPES SIMPLEX 1 virus from the mouth to the genital area where it becomes HERPES SIMPLEX 2.

So always remember that if you have a fever blister, do not have oral sex. Because the fever blister is HERPES SIMPLEX 1 VIRUS and it can mutate to HERPES SIMPLEX 2 VIRUS very easily if the mouth fever blister comes in contact with the genitals. The reverse is probably true also.

So before having oral sex, be sure neither spouse has a fever blister or HERPES SIMPLEX blisters.

Following is more information on these viruses from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex_virus.

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The herpes simplex virus (HSV) (also known as Cold Sore, Night Fever, or Fever Blister) is a virus that manifests itself in two common viral infections, each marked by painful, watery blisters in the skin or mucous membranes (such as the mouth or lips) or on the genitals. The disease is contagious, particularly during an outbreak, and is incurable with present technology. Research has currently shown that a person can still be contagious (actively shedding virus) up to 7-10 days after the blister has healed.[citation needed] During this time, the asymptomatic person should be extremely careful (washing hands frequently; not touch the blister area, etc.) since transmission is still possible. An infection on the lips is commonly known as a "cold sore" or "fever blister," though this should not be confused with a canker sore, which appears inside the mouth and is not caused by the herpes simplex virus.

The ways in which herpes infections manifest themselves vary tremendously among individuals. The following are general descriptions of the courses outbreaks may take in the oral and genital regions.

Orofacial infection (Generally HSV 1)
Orofacial infection ICD-10 B00.0-B00.2
ICD-9 054.0, 054.2

Infectious fluid-filled blister on lower lip (herpes labialis).Image from patient.

Prodromal symptoms
Skin appears irritated
Sore or cluster of fluid-filled blisters appear
Lesion begins to heal, usually without scarring

Genital infection (Generally HSV 2)
Genital herpes ICD-10 A60.0
ICD-9 054.1
Prodromal symptoms
Sore appears
Lesion begins to heal, usually without scarring
In men, the lesions may occur on the shaft of the penis, in the genital region, on the inner thigh, buttocks, or anus. In women, lesions may occur on or near the pubis, labia, clitoris, vulva, buttocks, or anus. This may require a very careful examination e.g. during delivery, examination by use of a flashlight may be necessary.

The appearance of herpes lesions and the experience of outbreaks in these areas varies tremendously among individuals. Herpes lesions on/near the genitals may look like cold sores. An outbreak may look like a paper cut, or chafing, or appear to be a yeast infection. Symptoms of a genital outbreak may include aches and pains in the area, discharge from the penis or vagina, and discomfort when urinating.

Initial outbreaks are usually more severe than subsequent ones, and generally also involve flu-like symptoms and swollen glands for a week or so. Subsequent outbreaks tend to be periodic or episodic, typically occur four to five times a year, and can be triggered by stress, illness, fatigue, menstruation, and other changes. The virus sequesters in the nerve ganglia that serve the infected dermatome during non-eruptive periods, where it cannot be conventionally eliminated by the body's immune system

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