My husband and I have been married for 5 years. I was 23 and he was 20 when we got married. He was head over heels in love with me when we married! He thought I hung the moon, but now he says he loves me but is not in love with me. We have suffered much time apart in our marriage because he is active duty military and has spent 25 months out of the 66 months we've been married in Iraq. Well this last deployment we lost a dear friend in Iraq, and since he hasn't been the same.
He got in touch with an ex and initiated a potential date between them. I forgave him and he has not since talked to her. Well I never have gotten over that and it's been a year. So during this year I would constantly accuse him and bring it up. So after a huge fight, I decided to go to therapy. I have been seeing my therapist now for a few months and things started to get better. I never brought the situation up and I started to trust him again. But now he is gone again for a month and he has gotten in contact with ANOTHER female. She is telling him that she loves him but he SWEARS to me that for him it's somebody he can have fun with.
He says that he isn't in love with me. But at the same time he still calls me baby and tells me that I will always have his heart, and that he will never be with anybody as good as me. He says that he already regrets what he's doing but feels that he NEEDS to be single for a while. I am still soooo madly in love with him and don't want to let go. I feel that he is and has been suffering from PTSD. He is scheduled to go back to Iraq in 9 months or so and all he talks about is how he isn't sure if he's going to come back this time. HELP. Do you think he can love me again? How do I help him? I pray pray pray. He's still gone and will be back in 5 days, and that's when we plan on laying everything out on the table.
Comment by: Old Site
Date: 2/9/2013 7:49:39 PM
A reader says ... First let me say, I feel for you - I feel your pain. Your husband has put you through unfair pain. He doesn't deserve you. Your husband does not take marriage seriously. He is out for fun and sex and does not cherish his wedding vows.
According to the CNN documentary, Senator McCain was the same way, when he was young as he cheated on his first wife, off and on for six years after he returned from Vietnam. But now he regrets it, so see people do change with time.
Why did McCain cheat? According to the documentary, his swimsuit model wife was in a car accident while he was in Vietnam and so when he came back she was overweight and had a bad limp from the accident. See, usually, with these types of men, it is all about looks.
So if you are overweight, slim down, go to the gym, get yourself in tip-top shape and you will be irresistible when he comes home.
To make a good marriage it takes a committed male and committed female who save their sexual energy for each other. Meanwhile, pray that God will change his heart and make him serious about his marriage. God bless you ...