Prayer Requests Posts

Title: My husband's desire/temptation to be with another woman    Author: Unknown   This Writing Is Rated G


I have a request for intercession on behalf of myself and my husband and the female he's been seeing. This just recently started and when it did, I just flipped. To my knowledge (so he says), nothing sexual has taken place but he does have strong feelings for her and desires to sleep with her. He says he doesn't understand why, for he wants to be with me. I've never had such desires rise up in me for another so I don't truly understand but I want to make things work. We just received emergency Godly counsel from our Bishop's wife who is a qualified Christian Psychologist of many years. I am so hurt and so broken over this betrayal that it leads to satanic desires of murder in my heart towards this girl and him. Something Romans 12 is helping get rid of because I love God and I want to please Him with every ounce of my being.

I did speak with the female 1 day after finding out she had his cell #. She tried to convince me that she was a serious lesbian but could not give account as to why they were on the phone for 38 minutes and what was discussed. Needless to say, I never believed her although I came to her respectfully and as a Christian. My husband suffers with a chemical imbalance and Bipolar symptoms that have not been treated. We are only a year and 5 months into our marriage. We married as devoted Christians with a GREAT love for God and people. We have gone through some tough times but I never thought it would lead to this. I NEVER deny him any type of intimacy for I am always all game. Since finding out about these temptations he's experiencing which started 5 days ago, he has gone to see here once .... they've texted each other frequently and he's apologized to her for me calling her and him getting her involved like this...

The counselor had him express his "true" desires concerning all this and of course he said all the right things about never talking to her again and only wanting to be with his wife. We left her agreeing to let the past be the past and become as we were first married. That is better said than done and I fear how he will live up to his end of the bargain. I love my husband and am not willing to divorce him for anything---not even adultery. I want to be the example to him as God was with Israel, Hosea was with his wife, and how Christ is with his Church. I want to show him the type of love that lasts forever and endures all things even when he doesn't deserve it. He didn't want to call the girl and cut things off verbally or by text which makes me suspicious.

But because of our agreement, I'm gonna be faithful on my end, but should I find that he's fallen even into conversation with her... I will leave him completely and he will loose everything down to his job. I say this because we have one car which is mine that I brought into our marriage and his car had broke down last year and we haven't been able to obtain another since. I will leave him and he will be helpless unless God shows him more mercy and/or bids me to return. I will not return to him until he shows faithful not only to me and our marriage but also to Christ for at least several months. If his adulteress conduct persists longer, if it be God's will I will move away out of state because it is too hard for me to bear the thought of my husband sleeping with someone else and me living in the same State. I am truly jealous for him! It shows me so much that our God has endured through time with all His peoples unfaithfulness to Him. It is truly heart breaking.

I ask for prayer that in whatever I do, it would be to the glory of God and pleasing in his sight. That Romans 12 becomes my best friend and demonstrated in my love by the love of Christ. That my husband will overcome the temptation of the Enemy and cling to his wife and God's Word. That neither of us sin against each other, our bodies, or God. And lastly, that the woman who has become an instrument in all this will come to know Christ Jesus and repent of her sins and instead become and instrument for God's glory alone and remain faithful to the faith. Thanks for hearing out a broken heart that is trying to forgive and do what's right.

Comment by: Old Site   Date: 2/9/2013 7:49:42 PM

A reader says ...

A reader says ... I pray for you and for him to have a change of heart. Your husband needs to realize that he can't live by animal instinct desires. The Bible calls them our flesh. His flesh is telling him he would like to sleep with this other woman. But all of us, if we are honest, would admit that, our flesh might enjoy that too. But we can't let our animal instinct control us. Paul says that your husband isn't the only one who controls his body, because you do, because you are his wife. Your husband can't give his body to this woman because he already gave it to you.

So your husband needs to recognize that his desire to sleep with this woman is just wrong. And then stop thinking about it. And don't ever see her again. As you said if he doesn't decide to act like a grown up and control his desires, he is going to ruin his life.

Maybe your husband is looking for sexual spice in his life. That is the animal instinct that God calls our flesh. Men have a strong dose of it. This animal instinct which we call our flesh likes variety in sex.

But God does not want us to cheat on our spouse. So how can we have variety in our sex life without cheating on our spouse? The variety women like is called romance. The variety men like is more basic - more related to raw sex. So women like to go to diner or watch a chick-flick or get roses or light candles or listen to romantic music or go sleep in a fancy hotel, and the men are more influenced by erotic sex scenes in a movie.

This web site is here to try and give married couples a place where they can find the romance and spice in their sex life, without cheating on their spouse. It is here to allow married couples to experience that romance and erotic element within the marriage, so that the man or woman is not tempted to go elsewhere.

God had this same idea and so God gave each husband a beautiful bride with an attractive young body that would help keep her husband coming back to her. And he gave each wife a handsome husband with an attractive young body. And that would be fine if they never did get old, and overweight, and if there were no TV, if we didn't work with attractive members of the opposite sex who flirt with us, and there were no movies and we all lived on a remote secluded farm.

But in this day and age where sexy women are on every magazine cover and on every commercial, and men and women work together and many flirt with each other during the day; wives and husbands - especially if one is overweight, need help keeping their spouse happy at home, while they mature.

And so this web site allows a husband and wife to read and share erotic stories together and it condones them watcing erotic videos together, as a means to help the married couple experience that romance and erotic element, together, instead of the man or woman having to find that romance and erotic element outside the marriage.

The Bible teaches in Romans 2 verses 3 and 4 that the way God leads people to repentance, or helps people mature spiritually is by showing them "kindness", "tolerance" and "patience". And so we encourage husbands and wives to be tolerant about what they allow each other to do in their love life, as long as it is when they are together, so that when they share exciting experiences together - this will help build strong sexual marriage bonds and fond memories.

So ask your husband if he would like to read some erotic stories with you, while in bed, from this web site. Or ask him if he would like to watch an erotic video with you while you are in bed together. If you are willing to do this, he might have fun with you and he might realize it was really a bad idea to think of cheating on you.

Ask yourself. Are you overweight? If you are overweight start on a diet so you can be the most attractive you can be for your husband.

Has your husband ever asked you to watch an erotic video or rated R video with him and you said it was sinful and refused? Has your husband ever asked you to do anything risque that you said was sinful? If so, then maybe he is just looking for spice in his life and if you are willing to compromise with your husband in the area of sex, then God will bless your marriage.

My suggestion is that you research the Bible to see that it's ok for married couples to read and watch erotic materials together to help spice up their love life. And then continue to pray for him.

Here are some links to help you understand that God does allow married couples to use erotic materials to help their marriages:

Blessed in every way but one ...

Eliminate the Routine for Greater Passion ..

Starting Your Engines and Erotic Stories ...

May Couples Use Moral Erotic Sex Aides To Help Their Marriages? ...

Is Sexual Arousal Lust? ...

Is This Web Site A Stumbling Block? ...

Frozen Sex Lives and Divorce ...

If you do all we talked about and he still wants to see this other woman, then separate from him until he changes.

I pray God will change his heart and that God will bless both of you!