Comment by: Old Site Date: 2/9/2013 7:49:42 PM
A reader says ...
A reader says ... I pray for you and for him to have a change of heart. Your husband needs to realize that he can't live by animal instinct desires. The Bible calls them our flesh. His flesh is telling him he would like to sleep with this other woman. But all of us, if we are honest, would admit that, our flesh might enjoy that too. But we can't let our animal instinct control us. Paul says that your husband isn't the only one who controls his body, because you do, because you are his wife. Your husband can't give his body to this woman because he already gave it to you.
So your husband needs to recognize that his desire to sleep with this woman is just wrong. And then stop thinking about it. And don't ever see her again. As you said if he doesn't decide to act like a grown up and control his desires, he is going to ruin his life.
Maybe your husband is looking for sexual spice in his life. That is the animal instinct that God calls our flesh. Men have a strong dose of it. This animal instinct which we call our flesh likes variety in sex.
But God does not want us to cheat on our spouse. So how can we have variety in our sex life without cheating on our spouse? The variety women like is called romance. The variety men like is more basic - more related to raw sex. So women like to go to diner or watch a chick-flick or get roses or light candles or listen to romantic music or go sleep in a fancy hotel, and the men are more influenced by erotic sex scenes in a movie.
This web site is here to try and give married couples a place where they can find the romance and spice in their sex life, without cheating on their spouse. It is here to allow married couples to experience that romance and erotic element within the marriage, so that the man or woman is not tempted to go elsewhere.
God had this same idea and so God gave each husband a beautiful bride with an attractive young body that would help keep her husband coming back to her. And he gave each wife a handsome husband with an attractive young body. And that would be fine if they never did get old, and overweight, and if there were no TV, if we didn't work with attractive members of the opposite sex who flirt with us, and there were no movies and we all lived on a remote secluded farm.
But in this day and age where sexy women are on every magazine cover and on every commercial, and men and women work together and many flirt with each other during the day; wives and husbands - especially if one is overweight, need help keeping their spouse happy at home, while they mature.
And so this web site allows a husband and wife to read and share erotic stories together and it condones them watcing erotic videos together, as a means to help the married couple experience that romance and erotic element, together, instead of the man or woman having to find that romance and erotic element outside the marriage.
The Bible teaches in Romans 2 verses 3 and 4 that the way God leads people to repentance, or helps people mature spiritually is by showing them "kindness", "tolerance" and "patience". And so we encourage husbands and wives to be tolerant about what they allow each other to do in their love life, as long as it is when they are together, so that when they share exciting experiences together - this will help build strong sexual marriage bonds and fond memories.
So ask your husband if he would like to read some erotic stories with you, while in bed, from this web site. Or ask him if he would like to watch an erotic video with you while you are in bed together. If you are willing to do this, he might have fun with you and he might realize it was really a bad idea to think of cheating on you.
Ask yourself. Are you overweight? If you are overweight start on a diet so you can be the most attractive you can be for your husband.
Has your husband ever asked you to watch an erotic video or rated R video with him and you said it was sinful and refused? Has your husband ever asked you to do anything risque that you said was sinful? If so, then maybe he is just looking for spice in his life and if you are willing to compromise with your husband in the area of sex, then God will bless your marriage.
My suggestion is that you research the Bible to see that it's ok for married couples to read and watch erotic materials together to help spice up their love life. And then continue to pray for him.
Here are some links to help you understand that God does allow married couples to use erotic materials to help their marriages:
Blessed in every way but one ...
Eliminate the Routine for Greater Passion ..
Starting Your Engines and Erotic Stories ...
May Couples Use Moral Erotic Sex Aides To Help Their Marriages? ...
Is Sexual Arousal Lust? ...
Is This Web Site A Stumbling Block? ...
Frozen Sex Lives and Divorce ...
If you do all we talked about and he still wants to see this other woman, then separate from him until he changes.
I pray God will change his heart and that God will bless both of you!