Marriage Help Articles

Title: am i the only one?    Author: Unknown   This Writing Is Rated G


I have been married for now 2 years. When we were dating, it was the best time of my life. She would completely satisfy every need I had, although not every one I wanted. I did not want to have sex until after marriage, but everything else was fair game; EVERYTHING. Now two years into marriage, everything seems so different. She never craves intimate times in bed, and rarely shows any affection. We're almost together all the time and I am almost positive she is not getting this satisfaction anywhere else. I just feel like she lost her desire. Is this something I did? I always doubt myself and how I treat her as my wife, as if I could be doing better. I know this may sound wrong, but at times, I don't want to try any harder because this 'trying' is only to gain some intimacy and I know I won't get any so I don't. I've stopped. Anyone experience this?

Comment by: Old Site   Date: 2/9/2013 7:49:52 PM

A reader says ... Women do not have a hormone driven sex drive like men do. Men have hormones that make them think of female sexuality in one form or another - all day long. Women don't have those hormones that make them think of male sexuality - any of the day - never.

The only way women want sex is when then the time is right - when the romance is there - when it is what they are supposed to be doing - it is triggered by emotions by everything being right.

So don't expect your wife to initiate sex. You have to make the moment happen you have to lead her into it. I have been married for over 20 years and my wife has not once wanted sex of her own accord. But when I lead her into it and sometimes with a little help from erotic materials - she always enjoys sex. Good luck and God bless.

A reader says ... I doubt your situation is unusual. Talk to her, however awkward it may be. Do it in an open way, try to help her understand you fully respect her but need to come to some kind of compromise. Ask her not to see your desires as some kind of male attitude problem but as something you can't control. Ask for her help in satisfying them a little more often even if she may not be "in the mood". You will otherwise just keep getting more stressed. Hope this helps.

A reader says ... Did your wife go on the pill prior to the wedding? For my wife, it caused a hormone shift and her libido dropped quite a bit compared to our dating years.